Community Spotlight
Alice Shikina
Thank you for co-facilitating the Mastering Negotiation Skills breakout at Ascend NorCal’s Inspiring Across Generations (IAG) event. Tell us about your experience.
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I very much enjoyed IAG. I met many inspirational people. It was great to see so many people with dreams they were actualizing. The energy was palpable.
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What did you want your attendees to learn by the end of your session?
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I wanted them to have a deeper understanding of the way salary negotiations work. I also wanted to help adjust their mindset to negotiate their salaries confidently going forward, based on what I taught them.
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How did you end up as a professional mediator and arbitrator?
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I had a part-time job as an area director for an au pair company here in the San Francisco Bay Area. Part of the job responsibilities included mediating between the host families and the au pairs whenever there was a conflict. At that time, I had no training or experience as a mediator. We were just thrown into mediation situations with the expectation that we would help resolve the conflict! I was terrified the first time I mediated. After going through several mediations, I realized that I was very good at getting people to a resolution. I also realized that I enjoyed this work. When I was laid off from my other full-time job, I began considering my next career move. My partner suggested I look into becoming a professional mediator. At the time, I had no idea that non-attorneys could become mediators. Once I started researching, I found a mediation certification instructor who encouraged me to also become a certified arbitrator. I did both and have successfully built a career as a mediator, arbitrator, and negotiation coach.
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When it comes to your area of work, what are some key takeaways you pass onto your clients?
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Negotiation is a skill that everyone can learn. One of the most important takeaways that I like to emphasize is that you should ALWAYS ask! Everything is negotiable, even taxes and credit card debt, so people should learn to ask as much as possible.
I have an online course I teach and the homework I give every week is to negotiate something you ordinarily would not have. During the 8-week course, people begin to realize that they have been missing out on a lot in their lives. Through the homework, they learn all they have to do is ask in order to receive more. Each week, we celebrate their negotiation wins and many come back pleasantly surprised at what they were able to successfully negotiate.
I very much enjoyed IAG. I met many inspirational people. It was great to see so many people with dreams they were actualizing. The energy was palpable.
-Alice Shikina
At Ascend NorCal, we value the diversity of our community. Are there any myths about Pan-Asians and negotiation that you think need to be busted? If so, what are some?
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This may not be exactly a “myth,” but I was on a panel where we discussed the label “Asian American” and several of us talked about how that is a label put UPON us, not given to us by ourselves. Each of us is proud of our own heritage and each culture is distinctly different from one another. So the label “Asian American” actually doesn’t mean anything at all. Our cultures and belief systems are all unique. A Japanese American is as different from a Chinese American as Mexican Americans are different from Canadian Americans.
In the same sense, different Asian cultures view negotiation differently and they also have different rules governing negotiation etiquette. For example, Japanese people negotiate very indirectly, while the Chinese negotiate very directly and are far more comfortable being confrontational. With that in mind, I would say that the biggest myth about Pan-Asians and negotiation is that we all have the same style of negotiating or that we all have the same level of comfort around negotiating.
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Heading into Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month, what about your cultural roots inspire you?
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Although I identify as Japanese American, I am actually Okinawan American, which is a smaller subset of being Japanese. Both of my parents moved from Okinawa, when my mom was seven months pregnant with me. My mom did not speak any English when she came to the U.S. My parents are both very proud Okinawans.
The Okinawan culture is very different from Japanese culture. In the 13th century, Okinawa was actually called the Ryukyu Kingdom. To this day, they have a totally different culinary culture, as well as dance, music and art. The Okinawan dialect is also so starkly different, that it is more of a separate language than a Japanese dialect.
The dynamics between mainland Japan and Okinawa have always fascinated me. I even wrote a play called Okinawa 1945. It is about teenage girls serving as nurses in the caves of Okinawa during WWII. Their jobs were to care for the wounded soldiers.
Since my parents are the only ones who emigrated, the rest of my relatives are still in Japan. Half are still in Okinawa. I retain the cultural pride that my parents instilled in me.
What inspires me most about Okinawan culture is the fact that they have retained their roots in the Ryukyuan history and culture, despite being annexed by Japan in the 1800s and controlled by the U.S. for 30 years after WWII.
