Community Spotlight

Could you please share what Ascend means to you?

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I was so happy when I found Ascend.

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To me, Ascend means connection. I think one of the things we care about most is knowing we’re not alone. Ascend brings together people with a shared passion for elevating AAPI voices and shared experiences as AAPI members. It can be such a relief to realize that people want the same things we want and people struggle with the same things we struggle with, no matter where they are in their careers.

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Beyond connection, I’ve found being part of Ascend to be a source of inspiration. Bringing so many AAPI members together who care about personal and professional growth allows for a powerful creativity exchange. Sometimes we don’t think we can do something until we see someone else who looks like us do it, so hearing each other's stories is incredibly motivating.

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I’ve repeatedly seen the leaders at Ascend devote their time and energy to help others, and it makes me want to do the same. It’s contagious and has a snowball effect — more and more people gain energy from helping each other, and the impact is exponential. The idea is to spread growth and learning to as many people as possible.

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Is there a mission that you believe in or follow?

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Self-awareness has been really important for me to develop my inner confidence.

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For a long time, I had this huge army of inner critics saying things like, "No one wants to hear what you have to say," or "Everyone else knows better than you." As a result, I was constantly relying on other people to tell me what I should do. Whatever the situation, I was frenetic and constantly needing others to answer questions like, "Am I okay?" "What should I do?" and "Is this alright?" I felt very disconnected from myself, and as a result, I felt disconnected from other people.

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I realized that this couldn't be it — the emptiness, the aloneness, and the disconnectedness I was feeling couldn't be it. So, I decided to run some experiments. I chose to connect with myself and follow my intuition, even about simple things like what I wanted to do that day. What did I want to eat for lunch? Did I want to go to a museum or a park? Whether or not lunch, museum or the park was good wasn't the goal. The goal was choosing what I wanted simply because I wanted it. By continuously practicing and strengthening these muscles, I got to know myself better. Once I got to know myself better, I was able to accept both my shiny sides and my shadow sides. This self-acceptance allowed me to accept others, their shiny sides, and their shadow sides. Understanding that we’re all human trying our best is a lesson I learn over and over again and has consistently left me with a greater sense of groundedness and self-confidence.

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As an advocate of effective communication, any tips for building a strong relationship at work?

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My background is in sales where I had to build trust quickly, influence without authority, and communicate compellingly. The golden rule of sales is to understand your audience. Figure out which relationships are important to your success in your organization. Then learn what these people care about. How can you tell what they care about? Listen for it. Listen for what they talk about, what they ask about, what they’re stressed about. Those are the things that matter to them. Based on what they care about, you can then better understand what you mean to them and what they mean to you. Identify the unique resources both of you have and how you can exchange these resources to help each other. This mutual exchange fosters a sense of interdependence and shared fate. Once you recognize this shared fate and proactively exchange resources, there will be more openness to work together and a greater sense of trust.

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Because we’re human there will inevitably be misunderstandings with the people who are important to our success. How we deal with miscommunication hugely impacts the trust in a relationship. Giving feedback is really scary for most of us because it is an interpersonal risk. We’re sharing something about ourselves when we give feedback and we’re unsure how the feedback receiver will react. So when someone takes the time and interpersonal risk to give you feedback, even if it’s delivered clumsily, try putting your curiosity cap on to learn more. We all want to feel valued, and a great way to make others feel valued is by asking questions from a place of curiosity and care. When people spend time talking to you, ensure you show that you heard them, reflect back what you heard. When people feel seen and heard, they are more inclined to engage and invest in the relationship.

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As an executive coach, what advice would you most like to give to AAPI professionals?

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You are a premium product.

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You are the only you in the history and future of the universe. Talk about scarcity! Premium products have values, a point of view, and a story that brings them to life. I’ll say it again, you are a premium product. So find your story, your point of view, and a story that makes you shine.

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I’d also like to make the case for putting yourself out there. First, when we allow ourselves to be more known we attract people who are looking for us, the real us. We find people who love who we really are. Second, it just feels good to share what’s inside instead of holding back and feeling inhibited. Asking for what we want is the reward. And lastly, when we share what’s important to us and what we want, we’re more likely to get it! Bonus.